Tuesday, 23 May 2017

May 23, 2017

It’s my friend’s birfday today, but I haven’t been able to get into contact with them to figure out what to get ‘em. Then money kind of ran out this month after several family emergencies, so I figured I’d draw ‘em something. Maybe their pet. But I forget what their pet’s breed is. Then I forgot their address. Then I remembered that they might be on a camping trip this month anyway. Figures the one time I remember someone’s birthday, I forget every other fact about their existence…

 I don’t know if any of you know this, but I am the best at friending. I’ve got that shit locked down.



Wednesday, 17 May 2017

May 17, 2017

I just got back from the hospital. My dad fell down the stairs and hit the back of his head. Luckily he's doing alright now, but we gotta keep an eye on him, and make sure he doesn't have a concussion or something else. Four staples. I'd heard of staples in a surgical sense before, but it didn't occur to me just how... inelegant it looks to have done. Stitches bring to mind a needle and thread, and a soft dexterity. Stapling a dude's head is about as direct as it sounds.

Also, my mom's favourite cat ever died on Mother's Day, so basically it's been a laugh-and-a-half.



Thursday, 11 May 2017

"Dark Souls 3" Review

by Alex Hill


Dark Souls 3 is like "The Force Awakens"; It's the bare minimum of what it needed to be, a video game for the sake of a video game. It thinks fan-service, nods and references will carry it, because it offers little that's new or interesting enough to stand on its' own. It has more to offer than Bloodborne, but it's still a regression of the Souls formula. Someone shaved this wild, untamed thing, and whittled its' fangs down too far.

Friday, 28 April 2017

Dark Souls 3: Challenge Runs

Today I learned that I can beat every single boss encounter in Dark Souls 3 without dying.

It's everything in-between those that can go fuck off.

I've run into a problem: Once it sunk in that you can't really die(at least it's never permanent, there's no real GAME OVER situation), all of the tension of playing Dark Souls kind of... left.  Just vanished.  It can still be frustrating to lose, but I don't feel like there's anything at stake.

So I've tried doing No-Death runs.  To very limited success.  Maybe I should give myself a bit of leeway?

Wednesday, 26 April 2017

April 26, 2017

I am feeling particularly miserable today. Maybe it's the political shit happening. Maybe it's the fact that Spoiler Warning, one of the last LPs I still watched regularly has collapsed. Shamus Young's blog had a reputation for having a more civil, thoughtful comments section. The comments there got so putrid that pretty much everyone abandoned ship.

If the best-case scenario is total self-destruction, maybe Comments Sections shouldn't be a thing. Feel free to discuss in the comments below The only reason I don't disable mine is because nobody reads or comments on my shit anyway, except for the occasional spam bot.

Yesterday I got through all of the vanilla content in Dark Souls 3 without dying. It did not give me any pleasure, any satisfaction, any clarity or closure or any peace. I had no one to share that victory with. I can't even use the "tree falling in the woods and no one is around to hear it" metaphor, because even a squirrel or a bird would notice if I chopped down a tree. Even if it was a big tree, and I tried many times before to chop it down to no avail.

I don't have anyone I can hang out with. I don't have a lot of money at the moment to buy some new game to provide a momentary distraction. Not a whole lot of options vis-a-vis "comfort food". Not much of an appetite lately anyway. I don't like the dreams I've been having, so I don't look forward to going to sleep. I don't have the energy or willpower to do anything that MIGHT bring me some satisfaction.

I have no centre. And thus, no foundation to build a life or personality off of. I could see myself putting in the effort to be better, to be ANYTHING if there was someone who depended on me, someone I wanted to impress. But everyone is married and busy, and they wouldn't want to be with me anyway.

Things feel pretty fucking grim right now.



Friday, 21 April 2017

I Am Now 30 Years old

At about midnight, I had the most acid-ey puke-burp ever. I really hope that's not a portent of things to come.



Tuesday, 4 April 2017

Grand Jury Prize: 2015

The Grand Jury Prize(an alternative for first place in my annual Fave Things Lists) for 2015 is a tie:

The movie "Creed"(which I wrote about earlier), and "Sonic Dreams Collection".

Which is also a contender for Game of the Century.



Monday, 20 March 2017

Dark Souls 3: "Darkmoon Blade"

I just got the platinum trophy in Dark Souls 3.

I've been playing this game since the day it was released. It took over 400 hours to get one achievement. Which is 397 hours longer than I consider reasonable.

The last achievement/trophy I needed was to get all of the games "Miracles", a type of magic spell. The most time-consuming spell to obtain is called "Darkmoon Blade". The only way to get this Miracle is to offer 30 of a specific item to a dragon lady in a tower.

The items in question are white ears, human ears called "Proof of a Concord Kept". The only way to get these are:

a.) Killing "Silver Knight" enemies


b.) Defeating an invading player in someone else's game after you're summoned to help them.

The greatest foe in Dark Souls 3.

Sunday, 12 March 2017

Transformers Devastation

I'm surprised by how much I was impressed with Transformers Devastation. I got it for free during a Playstation Plus "free games" thing and it kind of languished on my PS4 hard-drive for a while. I only got around to trying it out a few days ago, thinking I'd just get a few Trophies and then delete it to make room for other games.

It's by Platinum Games, and it shows. It's not a million miles removed from stuff like Bayonetta, fast-paced melee combat against multiple opponents, end-of-level grading, etc. I'm not sure why that made me hesitant to try it out. In any case, I became a bit obsessed with getting better and better at it. It's not a long game, and that might be why I wanted to play it again. If it were some obnoxiously long, open-world game like Skyrim or The Witcher I'd likely have gotten bored early on and never come back to it. I certainly wouldn't have leveled up my character as high as possible and beat the game on the highest difficulty setting. And I certainly wouldn't have wanted to keep playing it after that.

Sunday, 26 February 2017

Character Showcase: "Glenn"

For me, "Glenn" was the heart of The Walking Dead.  Not Rick.  Not Darryl. Not Corral Coral Corrin Krull  Katojin  Quetzlcoatl Carl.

Glenn.  Incorruptible, intelligent, dependable Glenn.  Affected by the carnage and ruin around him, but not ruined himself.  Physically young, but wiser than some two or three times his age.  Sensitive, and on occasion smarmy.  Focused and certain in situations where bigger, stronger characters struggle with what's right or wrong.  Hard to ignore.  Easy to take for granted.  More concerned with what's right than what he can get out of a situation, but what's right includes the people closest to him. Devoted not just to the idea of survival, but surviving the right way.

Not the kind of person people write stories about in zombie apocalypse scenarios.  Too often we're subjected to someone the author thinks is "badass".  Give them a signature weapon.  That'll make up for the lack of personality or a character arc.  Maybe give their stupid weapon a name, and thus more character than the person wielding it.

Give Rick the magnum.  Give Darryl the crossbow.  Give Michonne the katana.

What is Glenn's signature weapon? Who fucking cares, that's what.  His identity isn't dependent on a stupid surrogate penis.


Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Dark Souls III: The Ringed City DLC Gameplay

This is what I think is great about Dark Souls games.

Think of how long it must have taken to figure out exactly how to fuck with the player's ingrained habits and routines for how they interact with these environments. 3 games in this series, and still they find new ways to catch people off-guard. It's cheeky and I love it.

I kind of wish the main game had content this clever.



Tuesday, 7 February 2017

Feb 06, 2017

This morning I woke up full of affection and a need to shower love on... something. Anything, really.

Then I dropped hard. Now I can't sleep because I'm so uncertain about who I am or where I should be or where I can go, or what I should do, or even what I WANT to do.

I never thought I'd have an identity crisis. I don't like it. I REALLY don't like being lost. I hate being without answers and knowing no one can help me, and I can't help me.


The Last Guardian plays like a Fumito Ueda game. You do have to fight the controls and the camera quite a bit. But his games aren't meant to be loose, smooth, fast-paced arcadey experiences. I'd say they're much more focused on mood and setting than being "fun". In that sense, it's kind of the opposite of an action game, where the gameplay is the primary focus and the story is an afterthought.

And oh my fucking God, Trico is so precious I can't stand it. I'll bet the years and years it took for this game to be developed were spent just figuring out how animals behave and trying to make that work in a fictional creature's animations. I think I have a stronger stomach for animals in media portrayed in danger, but even when this thing is mildly sad or whatever it hurts my heart. I don't think I could recommend this game to someone who loves animals.

I don't know what happens past the first couple of hours, but I wouldn't be surprised if there's a Tragic Circumstance later. There was a part like that in Shadow of the Colossus, Ueda's previous game... But then again, they did go back on that during the credits, so... *shrug*.


I've heard a good way to make money as an artist is to learn how to draw anthropomorphic characters. Apparently furries are rolling in the fat stacks of cash.

I tried doing some sketches, and it didn't feel right to me. I don't know if it's because I'm not good enough at it yet, or if I just don't want the association of being a "furry artist" or whatever.

I admit that is a prejudice on my part. I've known people who despise furries, and I think that's silly, but I do feel some apprehension about drawing this stuff. But if I learn how, I might be able to make some money which I can put towards good causes as well as selfish bullshit. So maybe I should just suck it up and learn to draw?



Thursday, 2 February 2017

Light Up The Night

I got the platinum trophy in Fallout 4. Makes it the 3rd game I've been able to do that in(besides Dark Souls 2 and Bloodborne).

I bought The Last Guardian. I probably should not have splurged this month. I plan to donate to stuff like the ACLU, and I want to send something to Flint, Michigan, since I hear they still don't have clean drinking water because of their scumbag government.

...I mean, I guess this will be a monthly thing, so I guess it doesn't matter which month I splurge on something for myself.

...God, I really hope the resistance going on right now isn't a fad. I've depended on the United States to be stronger than I am, in the event of a global catastrophe. I really don't want that to be another thing I regretted believing in.

I'm also only just now getting acquainted with the work of The Protomen. I regret not listening to their stuff sooner.



Tuesday, 17 January 2017

Every Empire Falls

You know what the worst part of this election was?

The fact that we have to see and hear Donald Trump every day for the next 8 years.

But the second worst part?

It was being left out of the conversation by the Democratic Party, who ignored the candidate people wanted, in order to back someone that would be easier to control. A person they knew people hated.

But the third worst part?

Finding out that there are way more monsters in the United States than I once thought. And now they have all of the power for the next few decades(remember: Donald gets to pick the replacement for Scalia on the Supreme Court. That shit is going to haunt you for the rest of your natural lives, at the very least).

But the fourth worst part?

It was totally preventable. And no, I don't mean in any kind of fantasy about assassinations, I'm talking within the systems we were given. They had all of the time in the world to prepare for this. They had the whole world, and Donald himself displaying exactly why they should not have let him win. They had everything they needed to win fair and square, and they fucked everything up.

The system did not fail. The people did. The people failed to understand the most important part of a presidential election in the U.S.