Friday, 28 April 2017

Dark Souls 3: Challenge Runs

Today I learned that I can beat every single boss encounter in Dark Souls 3 without dying.

It's everything in-between those that can go fuck off.

I've run into a problem: Once it sunk in that you can't really die(at least it's never permanent, there's no real GAME OVER situation), all of the tension of playing Dark Souls kind of... left.  Just vanished.  It can still be frustrating to lose, but I don't feel like there's anything at stake.

So I've tried doing No-Death runs.  To very limited success.  Maybe I should give myself a bit of leeway?

Wednesday, 26 April 2017

April 26, 2017

I am feeling particularly miserable today. Maybe it's the political shit happening. Maybe it's the fact that Spoiler Warning, one of the last LPs I still watched regularly has collapsed. Shamus Young's blog had a reputation for having a more civil, thoughtful comments section. The comments there got so putrid that pretty much everyone abandoned ship.

If the best-case scenario is total self-destruction, maybe Comments Sections shouldn't be a thing. Feel free to discuss in the comments below The only reason I don't disable mine is because nobody reads or comments on my shit anyway, except for the occasional spam bot.

Yesterday I got through all of the vanilla content in Dark Souls 3 without dying. It did not give me any pleasure, any satisfaction, any clarity or closure or any peace. I had no one to share that victory with. I can't even use the "tree falling in the woods and no one is around to hear it" metaphor, because even a squirrel or a bird would notice if I chopped down a tree. Even if it was a big tree, and I tried many times before to chop it down to no avail.

I don't have anyone I can hang out with. I don't have a lot of money at the moment to buy some new game to provide a momentary distraction. Not a whole lot of options vis-a-vis "comfort food". Not much of an appetite lately anyway. I don't like the dreams I've been having, so I don't look forward to going to sleep. I don't have the energy or willpower to do anything that MIGHT bring me some satisfaction.

I have no centre. And thus, no foundation to build a life or personality off of. I could see myself putting in the effort to be better, to be ANYTHING if there was someone who depended on me, someone I wanted to impress. But everyone is married and busy, and they wouldn't want to be with me anyway.

Things feel pretty fucking grim right now.



Friday, 21 April 2017

I Am Now 30 Years old

At about midnight, I had the most acid-ey puke-burp ever. I really hope that's not a portent of things to come.



Tuesday, 4 April 2017

Grand Jury Prize: 2015

The Grand Jury Prize(an alternative for first place in my annual Fave Things Lists) for 2015 is a tie:

The movie "Creed"(which I wrote about earlier), and "Sonic Dreams Collection".

Which is also a contender for Game of the Century.