Thursday, 31 January 2013

The Dark Knight Quadrilogy

"The Dark Knight Trilogy" is a pretty arrogant term for the "Nolanverse" Batman movies. On that note, "Nolanverse" is a pretty clunky catch-all term for the most recent Batman pictures, but whatever. Notice they didn't call it the "Batman Begins" trilogy, and I'm sure the fact that Batman Begins didn't make a billion dollars at the box office has nothing to do with that. Nope.

It shows DC Comics and Warner Bros. have no clue what they're doing. They're blind, grasping tightly to whatever made them money the most recently, instead of trying to figure out HOW these films made money in the first place. The only reason we didn't get more Joel Schumacher garbage is because "Batman & Robin" tanked at the box office. Nobody got the sudden epiphany that he was the wrong director, or that they were putting too much pressure on him to make it into a toy commercial.

Those movies didn't stop getting made because they were awful. They stopped when they stopped making money. That's it.

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Thursday, 24 January 2013

Neckbeards With Triforce Tattoos

"The Wii U remake of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker looks stupid."


I remember the unbelievable bitching that went on after Wind Waker was first announced all those years ago. I still remember forum after forum of people bashing a game just for its' appearance, without giving it a fair chance. Without letting it stand on its' own merits. Completely dismissing it because "colour? that's gay, bro".

I have tried to talk to Zelda fanboys/girls. I have made many attempts to engage in intelligent discourse with these creatures. They cannot be reasoned with. They do not have imagination. They do not welcome experimentation. They target any entry in the series and blast them for not being "Ocarina of Time" or "A Link To The Past".

They play those two games until it becomes second-nature. They worship those two games and will not accept anything that is not a carbon-copy. Anything that steps slightly out of bounds with these blueprints, anything that ventures outside of their muscle-memory(in even the most superficial way) is shit to them. It wasn't the same way it was when they were 12, so they hate it.

I heard enough of this crap when Wind Waker first came out. The arguments against the screenshots for Wind Waker HD are no more sophisticated than those leveled against the Gamecube iteration. I was told this game would suck because it had a colourful art-style. I was told, repeatedly, that I was wrong and dumb for liking a "baby-game".

History has proven me right. It's going to happen again, and Zelda fanboys will learn nothing from any of this.

As usual.



Thursday, 17 January 2013

Pandora's Tower

And that makes 3-for-3. Operation Rainfall has now been a complete success, due in no small part to the folks at XSEED. I'm starting to lose count over how many games these guys have saved.



Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Adventure Quest Worlds

I was scrolling through the vidye-gaimz blogs today, and I stumbled upon this jewel:

It made me especially happy to know that people are still shitting on Evony ads after all this time.



Monday, 14 January 2013

SWTOR: "The Gay Planet"

So let me get this straight:

An MMO in 2013 decided that all gayness must be quarantined to one specific location, and you have to pay extra to access it?

To anyone who has bought or is continuing to play/pay for "Star Wars: The Old Republic:"


And to EA and Bioware: You suck more dicks than anyone on "Makeb".



Wednesday, 2 January 2013

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Review

by Alex Hill

I can hardly believe it's been more than a decade since I first heard of the Lord of the Rings films, saw them and was so strongly shaped by them. I have no doubt that Guillermo del Toro's version of "The Hobbit" would have been a sight unlike any other. But to have another trilogy in Middle-Earth by Peter Jackson and Weta Workshop is an unexpected comfort. Like slipping into an old coat that still fits.