Saturday, 1 September 2018

The Lelda Of Zegend: Breath Of The Weath

I finally got a Nintendo Switch. It is adorbable and teeny-tiny and I can't handle that.

I have now played Breath of the Wild, seven million years after everyone else already moved on from it. I'm only about an hour through the game, but I'm going to see how long I can get through it without putting any pants on Link.

I was hoping to have paid for it from art commissions, but that requires a paypal account and a paying audience and not being in a ruined state in terms of artistic growth. So my dad bought it for me.

The shame at being such a pathetic baby that needs his parents to buy him his toys is palpable. But I seriously don't have anything else going on in my life, I've lost a lot of heroes in the last couple of months and I doubt I'm going to have a chance to be an adult anytime soon. If I'm going to waste the days until I'm dead, I might as well do some wacky shit in Hyrule.


END OF LINE

~A.H.

Tuesday, 14 August 2018

The Last Jedi



The closest thing I ever had to a religion was Star Wars. I'm not proud of that. Maybe I needed something to devote myself to but religions didn't interest me. In any case, it wasn't healthy. I still remember treating a gold-coloured boxed set of the classic trilogy on VHS like they were the dead sea scrolls. When my sister and I got into a fight and the case for it was slightly warped, I freaked out. Screaming, crying, like someone shot my dog.


Sorry about that, Laura.


I'm not saying it's wrong to love these movies, or like them. I'm saying I took it too far. It became a gross obsession. Which is why you're about to read perhaps the most controversial thing I've ever said:

I'm glad that the prequels are so terrible.



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Monday, 13 August 2018

Fave Things Of 2017

I put off this list because I lost my ability to explain why I like things, and also because I was hoping I'd be able to afford a Switch by this point. So, no mario odyssey or breath of the wild on this list I'm afraid.

let's get this shit over with:


10. My Hero Academia



There is an infectious power and heart to this show. It's obvious that the people working on it care a lot. I wish I felt that way about my own stories. If I had that kind of motivation, I might have even finished one by now.

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Dark Souls Remastered: Plat


I got every trophy in Dark Souls Remastered in about ten days. It felt like months. Apparently the Remaster introduced MORE bugs. Which is kind of like if Sonic '06 finally got patched, and all the patch did was add Big the Cat fishing levels.

With this, I now have the platinum trophy in all 4 Soulsborne games. To commemorate this, here is a doodle of my player character:


END OF LINE

~A.H.

Friday, 3 August 2018

I am a responsible adult who makes wise business decisions

Yakuza 0 and Horizon Zero Dawn were on sale at wal-mart today. They also had Monster Hunter World, Shadow of the Colossus and Pokemon Ultra Moon. Stuff I've been meaning to try out and catch up on.

Instead I bought Dark Souls Remastered.

This isn't really a "1st-world problem" so much as a "why am I allowed to be in charge of money at any time?" thing.


END OF LINE

~A.H.

Friday, 29 June 2018

we deserve extinction

I had stories I wanted to tell, but now there doesn't seem to be any point. I don't expect most of us will be alive long enough for me to tell them. People welcomed evil with open arms because it resembled them, and no force on earth can stop it. Nothing matters anymore.

We never even stood a fucking chance. There will always be more selfish, racist, misogynistic white people. They’ll always have more votes, more money and more power. They’ll always win, and they’ll always be able to cheat anyway. This is forever. This will never go away. The monsters will never die. No weapon can pierce them, no amount of resistance can make them bleed.

At this point, doing anything to provide hope for anyone seems more cruel than just letting them get eaten alive. Why prolong the inevitable, right?

Why torture people with giving them stories and characters to care about? Why do something as heartless as telling people that it can get better? How can any writer make something so dishonest as a happy ending?

Nothing helps. There's no escape from it.

Tuesday, 12 June 2018

we are all going to die

That Smash Bros. presentation at E3 is the first thing that's put me in a legit good mood in years.

I forgot what it was like to experience joy.

It almost made me forget that Drumpf is probably going to nuke Canada to destabilize the west under the orders of Putin.

I mean, fuckin'... why not? Of course it'll happen. Why would we live in a universe where we are spared the absolute worst fucking scenario possible?

And there goes my one good mood of the decade.