Saturday, 24 March 2018

Best Before Date

I read an old thing I wrote on this blog a while ago, and it was not pleasant. It was weirdly mean, to no real benefit. It wasn't clever, even though I agreed with the basic gist of what it was saying. I was also gave myself too much leeway towards using words that make me physically cringe at this point.

I don't want to be the person who wrote THAT anymore.

I put off doing anything creative because of this. I end up hating what I've written or drawn so quickly, I don't see a point in doing any of it at all. What's the point of creating anything if it just turns into a pile of rot in a week? The internet has enough garbage on it, why make more?

why am i even typing this


Thursday, 8 March 2018

In The Valley Of Gods: Hair Helmet

In The Valley Of Gods looks rad. I'm into ancient-egyptian stuff, it's got a gorgeous art-style and I dig the character designs.

Apparently it takes a LOT of hard work to get hair to look that good.



Friday, 2 March 2018

krono tigur

Chrono Trigger is out on Steam!

And it's another terrible mobile phone port that they made look gross and plays bad!

Even though nobody liked that when they did it to FFV and VI, and this company clearly has the means and resources to just port over Chrono Trigger in a form that's not unplayable garbage!

This is how piracy wins: when you offer a worse experience and product than you'd get by stealing the damn thing. I get trying to save costs, but there's no way this is going to be more profitable after the bad word-of-mouth. It would probably be less expensive and do less damage to the company's reputation to just sell people a rom. It's like they went out of their way to be actively spiteful to their audience.

This is like if the first Star Wars was put up on iTunes, but when you're finished downloading it you only see the holiday special.



Sunday, 4 February 2018


All I want to do is play Warframe until I'm dead.

And then maybe a few more relic fissure rounds after that.

I think I have a problem.

Sunday, 7 January 2018

Mega Man 11: E-Tanks

So that's happening. This, Bubsy and Metroid are three things I did not expect to make any sort of comeback. I figured the people who own each of those properties were done(wait, who evens owns Bubsy?). But here we are.

I'm not sold on the look just yet. I think I just don't like 2D games done with 3D graphics. A lot of visual clarity and detail is lost when you move away from pixel art but still keep everything so zoomed out.

This is also something that bothered me about Mighty No. 9. Up close, I don't mind the character designs, but most of the action is viewed far away. The only way I can think of to reconcile this would be to use a super-deformed art-style with giant heads and expressive faces. This is why I kind of wish Mega Man Powered Up on the PSP had sold a few more copies.

Hopefully this turns out better than Mighty No. 9. I don't want to pile on it like the entire rest of the internet has, but that was not a pleasant experience. Hell, 90% of what makes it so frustrating and unrewarding is how they handled their... I don't know what to call them. "Healing items"? "Potions"?

Sunday, 12 November 2017

It's Okay If It's Not Okay

I said some of this stuff on twitter, and I'll say it here too:

The death of a friendship is emotionally and psychologically-devastating. It almost makes me glad that I'm incapable of making/maintaining those kinds of bonds with people. Making real human connections is so terrifying, precisely because of how easy it is to sever them.

I thought I would never get to talk to or see my favourite person again. I got a chance to reconnect. I'm grateful for that, and I take it seriously to sustain that connection. But until then, I lived in a hell of unknowing. For 12 years, I was stuck in the pit I dug for myself. Because I did some stupid shit in high school and I never forgave myself.

And that's platonic! I don't think I could survive losing something even more important than that! I am emotionally unequipped to deal with the fallout from a failed romantic or sexual relationship.

A lot of people in entertainment are being held accountable for their sins. A lot of them have done more for this world than I have. If they could fall so low, what chance do I have?

Sunday, 8 October 2017

Conductor Of The Pity Parade

I grew up thinking I could be famous or important. A celebrity. A scientist. A great thinker or provider. A father or husband.

Time went on, and I realized I don't have what it takes. So I decided to aim lower:

Maybe I could be a writer? Or a critic. Maybe I could be a boyfriend on the side. Or maybe that would take priority, and the writing and stuff would be the hobby. At times I wanted to be a comic author, or an artist, or both. I spent years doing those things, and it turns out I wasn't cut out for those either.

I'm 30 now, and I'm not anything really. I barely qualify as an adult. I'm not employed, I'm not in school, I have no friends, no ambitions and no dreams. I'll always be a virgin. I'll never get to have a relationship or start a family. I don't think I have the stamina to hold down a blue-collar job either.

I'll never be somebody.

I thought I was funny. I thought I was smart and helpful and good, and the last 30 years have demonstrated how completely false all of that is.

I don't get to be any of the things I wanted to be. I don't get to be useful. I'm just another nameless cog in a machine that will keep running long after I'm dead.

I have nothing of value to offer the world, and that's why I'm alone. I'm not even interesting enough to have addictions. I'm just another boring, mediocre white guy.