Grand Jury Prize 2014

In December, I went to see The Hobbit: BotFA with my best friend, her husband and my mom. After it was over, I caught up with my sister from a different mister and gave her a letter. A sentiment I'd been holding onto for 12 years. An apology.

I did some stupid, insensitive things when I was younger... well, more stupid and insensitive than is par for the course.

I wanna show you folks something important to me below the break:


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Fave Things Of 2014: Part II

Part 1 of the list can be found HERE. This will conclude the main list, and then after this is the Grand Jury Prize.

Brace yourself: the nerd levels get critical from here on out:

5. DARK SOULS II

2014 in gaming was... Sonic Boom. It was Rambo. It was the clueless, lazy design of Assassin's Creed Unity. The disgraceful sound-design of Thief. The unplayable, unplaytested Master Chief Collection. The hollowed-out husk of a game that Destiny was supposed to be. The embarrassment of the Elder Scrolls Online. The toxic cynicism and entitlement of Watch_Dogs. The contempt for the human race that was The Walking Dead: Season 2.


2014 was Duck Dynasty: The Game.


We're not just talking about games that didn't live up to their hype; This is the year where the entire industry stopped trying. We've reached an event horizon where we're lucky if a game is barely functioning after a year and six patches.


And how did gamers react to this? And to the clear corruption and ineptitude infecting game reviews and news coverage that gives rave reviews and coverage to garbage? They saw all of these problems, and their solution was to... send threats to women. An actual conclusion reached by a frightening number of people is that everything wrong with games can be traced back to vaginas.


This hobby has never been uglier, emptier and more insulting to the people who keep it alive. This is as low as video games have been since the industry crashed. Roger Ebert and Jack Thompson were wrong about video games, but by God did we ever try to prove them right last year.

Anyway, I just think there's an irony to the fact that a Dark Souls game didn't hate its' audience as much as everything else last year.


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Fave Things Of 2014: Part I

Here are some things I thought didn't suck last year. 3 parts, Top 10 format, with one special "Grand Jury" prize synonymous with first place.

Sorry it took so long:



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10. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

I liked it. Could've been better, could've been worse. Great soundtrack and characters, though. I'm glad summer blockbusters can still have a heart.

I never thought I'd come close to crying over a tree and a raccoon.


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"Bloodborne" Review

by Alex Hill

2/5 

There is something inherently wrong with Bloodborne's design philosophy. It is an inelegant, lopsided creature. It limps in the foosteps of the Dark Souls series, capturing little of their spark of genius. It throws away many of the conveniences and accomplishments of its' predecessors, in exchange for time-wasting nonsense.

You play as whoever, you go to some place or whatever, and then you're a squid. That's the entire plot of Bloodborne. There's no room for role-playing or head-canons. I never really felt like a part of the world it presented, the way Dark Souls allowed. You show up, you kill a bunch of things, you kill some more things, The End. There's no investment, there's no intrigue, there's no significant or interesting lore. Doom offered a richer narrative in its' between-stages loading screens. The people who tell you to read between the lines think that seeing something others can't will somehow make it profound. In that sense, Bloodborne is about its' own fans.

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Depression

I am not well. Not physically, not mentally or emotionally or psychologically or anything. I'm having an identity crisis, I don't know who I am, what I should be or even what the world will allow me to be. All or most of the things I believed in throughout my life have soured and I feel more than a little betrayed my own species. I no longer have the energy to pretend that everything is okay or that I'm hanging on.

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What Have I Done

I have The Hobbit on the brain. Listening to the soundtrack right now while I draw. Even played some Skyrim just to get a watered-down medieval epic kind of feeling. Maybe not the most conventional mindset to be in when making a black and white comic about black and white toons, but eh.


I first heard the Misty Mountains Cold song linked by someone's Tumblr. When I first heard that song, she was a treasured ally. It's weird to think that I'll never hear that song and be her friend again. Hell, this month I had to cut someone out of my life IRL. Someone I'd known since the 10th grade.


I wonder who changed. I doubt I got better, because I feel worse than ever. But every time I talked to him, without even trying, all he did was make me feel like the biggest piece of shit. Like all of the world's problems were my fault. Because I cared about stuff. I really don't even think he consciously noticed. My personal and mental health has to come first, but it's still hard to believe that he won't be a part of my life anymore. It's not a decision I made lightly, and I'm sure as hell going to miss him. I just don't think he's the same person as the man I befriended.


What an awful thing, for people to stop caring for each other. When someone's mere presence is too sharp to hold onto, and when they can't soften those edges. Even if they want to. I had to have been that person to a lot of people.


On December 1st, I'm going to get back into contact with someone of immeasurable importance to me. I don't know if it will be face-to-face or through writing. Some things need to be said. I don't know what I'm going to say. It might be the last thing I ever say to her. Too many people have unceremoniously left my life. I couldn't be there for her when it counted, but the least I can do to honour our friendship is give it a proper end. We both deserve "Goodbye".

Smash Bros. For 3DS

Smash Bros. for the 3DS has the worst control scheme I’ve ever experienced in a video game. I say this because within the first 2 minute match, my hands were hurting from the clumsy button placement. Nothing else has ever accomplished this.


It's so awful, I almost wonder if this was done on purpose so more people would buy the Wii U version, thus boosting sales for the struggling console. I can't believe a video game in this century plays this terribly. And worse, from a franchise that was heralded for its' near-perfect precision gameplay.