Thursday, 24 January 2013

Neckbeards With Triforce Tattoos

"The Wii U remake of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker looks stupid."


I remember the unbelievable bitching that went on after Wind Waker was first announced all those years ago. I still remember forum after forum of people bashing a game just for its' appearance, without giving it a fair chance. Without letting it stand on its' own merits. Completely dismissing it because "colour? that's gay, bro".

I have tried to talk to Zelda fanboys/girls. I have made many attempts to engage in intelligent discourse with these creatures. They cannot be reasoned with. They do not have imagination. They do not welcome experimentation. They target any entry in the series and blast them for not being "Ocarina of Time" or "A Link To The Past".

They play those two games until it becomes second-nature. They worship those two games and will not accept anything that is not a carbon-copy. Anything that steps slightly out of bounds with these blueprints, anything that ventures outside of their muscle-memory(in even the most superficial way) is shit to them. It wasn't the same way it was when they were 12, so they hate it.

I heard enough of this crap when Wind Waker first came out. The arguments against the screenshots for Wind Waker HD are no more sophisticated than those leveled against the Gamecube iteration. I was told this game would suck because it had a colourful art-style. I was told, repeatedly, that I was wrong and dumb for liking a "baby-game".

History has proven me right. It's going to happen again, and Zelda fanboys will learn nothing from any of this.

As usual.



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