-Powerless, the survivors have no choice but to defeat the Reapers... THROUGH THE POWER OF DANCE!
*Cut To: All of the Reapers exploding
-Shepard defeats the Reapers, but on the way home the Normandy crash-lands on Earth. Through some stroke of luck, the resulting explosion incinerates EA's corporate headquarters. There are no survivors.
We'll call this the "Good Ending".
-Seeing the galaxy is doomed, all of the races join forces, and unite in an intergalactic orgy the likes of which has never been seen. The Reapers join in on the action, and in time their differences are settled.
-A Time Traveler is facing a moral conundrum. Should he go back in time to kill Hitler? Or should he go back and convince the mother of ME 3's leader writer "Mac Walters" to not drink when she's pregnant?
He flips a coin.
"...You win this round, Adolph..."
-Wrex kills Dumbledore.
-Tali takes off her face-plate, revealing herself to be the Master Chief.
-The one where I'm playing "Katawa Shoujo" instead.