DOMA

Try to understand how stupid and evil something has to be, if EA and Zynga are the ones standing up to it.

That's like if the Ku Klux Klan and Neo-Nazis joined up with the rest of humanity to stop the Oversquid, from eating our planet's supply of dreams and oxygen. It's like seeing the Joker and Killer Croc teaming up with Batman.

It takes a bit of getting used to, is all...

END OF LINE

~A.H.

The Walking Dead: Episode 4

I know the last post I wrote was a bitter condemnation of Telltale Games' QA testing/tech support. But holy fucking shit. I am trying very hard not to call this Game of the Year or something.

Also, Ben? I have all of the feels for Ben.

ALL OF THE FEELS.

END OF LINE

~A.H.

The Walking Dead

So I bought episodes 2 and 3 of the point-and-click adventure game "The Walking Dead" for the Xbox 360. I finish Episode 2, at which point it freezes. When I restart and go back in, I find it didn't save any of my progress... so now I have to go back and do the entire thing over again.

Because I so loved playing a game where you don't get enough time to even understand what your option are before selecting them, and then half of the time the game doesn't even register that you've made an option at all.


So I go to play Episode 3... and it only loads up the first episode. Astute readers may know that three is a number that comes after one, not before it.

So, hey, thanks for locking me out of content I FUCKING PAID FOR, Telltale! I guess I should have known when you guys went to pretty dirty means to cover up how badly you fucked up that Jurassic Park thing from a while back. If these people think they can get away with duping people into buying clearly unfinished bullshit, and then not even let them play that, well... mission accomplished.


Boy, that was a close one. You were ALMOST a respected developer. You sure showed us!

END OF LINE

~A.H.

Phoenix: "Issue 7"

...is now up. 


I'm just glad all of the files survived my last computer crapping out on me. But after 3 months, I finally got off my ass and made a new issue of my stupid Halo 3 comic that doesn't actually have anything to do with Halo besides the graphics engine.

END OF LINE

~A.H.

Onlive

Well, so much for cloud-gaming. What was especially interesting to me is that in some of these articles, the total player-base is listed at about 1,800 people. Despite two million or so people signing up, less than two-thousand actually supported Onlive.

I think it's amazing how long they kept this quiet. Do you suppose if they had been more open about it, it might have made people sympathetic and boost their numbers? Or would it have given everyone the impression that they failed, and then make them fail faster than they did?

END OF LINE

~A.H.

The Dark Knight Rises: "Bane"

This was going to be included in my appendum article, but I keep finding more and more I want to say about this lump of Tom Hardy barely disguised as a character. At first he was a forgettable bad guy in a worthless film. But the more I think about it, the more I'm realizing a lot of that is the fault of "Bane". He's a black hole, dragging everything else around him down into a place where it all stops making sense.

I am going to try and explain why he is the single worst villain in any Batman movie. But first, a few questions:

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The Dark Knight Rises: "Appendum"

And now, here's some more specific questions/criticisms of "The Dark Knight Rises" I could not fit into the review proper.

Just about every major spoiler in the film will be discussed here. Except for stuff regarding Bane, which will be it's own article.


You've been warned:

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