Friday, 4 March 2011

Circling The Drain

I'm having a bit of a philosophical crisis. I know that sounds pathetic. I know that with all of the billions of legitimate problems the world is facing right now(especially in Libya), my feelings are inconsequential. But I honestly haven't felt this shitty since I was going through puberty. I'm not happy, and I haven't been for a long time.

I tried to keep an open mind. Since I was eighteen, I took it in stride. But the more I look around, the more I see the way things are on my planet, I'm not convinced we as a species deserve our place on the top of the food chain. I exist in a world where dedication, talent and imagination are exiled. Where clueless white men in suits control every aspect of our culture, our prosperity, even our basic services. And where there is absolutely no accountability if you have a white collar, or the right skin pigmentation, or the correct genitalia.

And that's just in the first world nations. What about people who DO have to worry about money? Or where they'll sleep? Or whether they can eat? What about people who are trapped in a country under the rule of a lunatic, one who openly encourages violence against any who question them?

How can anyone be at peace? Inside and out? How can anyone have dreams or goals or ambition, when there are entire fleets of rich dipshits preventing you from ever getting to them, because it -MIGHT- not give them even more countless millions? What if you practice every day at something you love, something you pour your blood and sweat into, that you know you're good at, and know it will never be good ENOUGH?

Why, when we all have these insecurities, these miseries, this same uniting fear and pain do we lash out against each other? Why, when millions are suffering every day, am I here bitching about my nondescript heart-ache, as if that's important? And even if I have the answers, even if I could understand how we got ourselves in this ditch, I don't know how it gets better. I don't think it ever will!

"Just try your best, and reach for your goals, and you'll achieve everything because this is a Disney movie, right?"

Not when there are legions of greedy white assholes whose job it is to make sure that people like you and me can NEVER reach our goals. Not when there are systems in place keeping rampant stupidity and under-achieving head and shoulders above real ingenuity. Because of the -possibility- that it MIGHT not make them a hojillion dollars. In every business, in every sector, everywhere you go, they're there. Dictating what our culture will be. Where the money goes. What we get to absorb, what we get to contribute.

How do you people STAND it?! We've made "CSI" a hit, while Firefly gets canceled. We force-feed shrieking thieves into a computer to sing for them, while independent talent can't get a contract. Every book is some political pap-smear about how the President is trying to get us all to read the Q'uran. Every game is a cross between a penis and an explosion.

...Or at least, those are the only ones that get any attention, meaning the stuff that DOES matter dies in obscurity like a dog in an alley. And even if we did find it, our attention spans have been ruined thanks to twitter, myspace, facebook and youtube.

Half a century ago, we put a man on the moon. This year, we made The Big Bang Theory a financial success. This is the best we can do?!

What does one believe in, when he has ruled out religion, society and self-improvement?

What the fuck is left?



No comments:

Post a Comment