SWTOR: "The Gay Planet"

So let me get this straight:

An MMO in 2013 decided that all gayness must be quarantined to one specific location, and you have to pay extra to access it?


To anyone who has bought or is continuing to play/pay for "Star Wars: The Old Republic:"

STOP THAT.
CUT THAT SHIT OUT.

And to EA and Bioware: You suck more dicks than anyone on "Makeb".

END OF LINE

~A.H.

Mass Effect 3: "Extended Cut DLC"

...I can't speak for the additions/changes made to the standard ending choices. But they gave me my ending.

THEY GAVE ME MY ENDING, YOU GUYS

I'd been waiting for this to come out before reviewing Mass Effect 3. Now I'm starting to realize that, there's no way I could review the same game as you. All I can really talk about is My "Mass Effect", My "Shepard", and my version on these events. And I shall. A 3-part series of articles will loosely sum up my experiences with each of the games in the series, and my thoughts on them.


For now though, let's get back to the Extended Cut DLC:

No, it doesn't fix a lot of the stupid, contrived bullshit. It doesn't give satisfying answers to every question(even though it finally lets us ask those questions). And it's pathetic that it took this long, and this much banging of pots and pans just to get a complete fucking product we paid for months ago.

But they finally gave us a real choice to make. It's finally over for me. It's done.


"I can die free."


END OF LINE

 ~A.H.

Dragon Age II: "Prejudice"

I liked the characters and immediate gameplay in DA2 more than in Origins. So I don't think it's a terrible game the way everyone told me it was. But I still find it reprehensible for different reasons, reasons I don't think a lot of people really thought about. I was prepared to call it my favourite game of 2011, until it became apparent just how evil the writers' message was.


It's hard not to draw comparison between the Qunari and the spread of Islam during that whole Crusades business. The persecution by the Templars certainly supports this. The lead writer, David Gaider, even referred to them as the "militant Islamic Borg", so you know there's going to be a fair portrayal here, right? Comparing them to a vicious machine-race that forces a fascist life-style on everyone else. Surely the game will take a stand against such petty tribalistic assumptions, I thought.

And for the most part, I was right...

Via dragonage.wikia.com

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Mass Effect 3: "Not Bad, For A Human"

Lance Henrikson talks about the extended Mass Effect 3 Ending DLC in the works. I'm surprised, since I'd heard they weren't going to bring back any of the voice cast for it. Tricia Helfer's coming back for it too, apparently.

This is going to be another addition to my series of rants about why the Mass Effect 3 ending is garbage, but it's also an excuse to gush about Lance Henrikson. What can I say? The man's paid his dues in a cruel line of work, and brought a lot to science-fiction. And as Alien Vs. Predator showed us, he can make the most out of crap. "Not bad, for a human."

But he's got his work cut out for him here.

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Mass Effect 3: "Why The Ending Sucks"

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!

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EB Games

There is nothing a publisher like EA hates more than used game sales. It means they don't get a penny for when they release rushed, idiotic, childish, pandering bullshit. It means they resort to backhanded business practices(usually by chopping up a game's content and selling it back to you, like a ransom note that comes with your son's finger). And most of all, it means John Riccitiello has to wait a little while before buying another solid-gold yacht he paid for by closing a development studio.

Because of this, I no longer see used-game sales as the industry-destroying problem it's made out to be. As Chris Kohler pointed out, it seems more like a scape-goat for business execs who don't want to try very hard. There's only so long you can release garbage for ridiculous prices, in a recession, before people start going to pawn-shops. If publishers aren't willing to make games for less(or at least just not waste millions of dollars into rendering James Vega's ass-cheeks), and as long as they keep trying to lock out customers who aren't Scrooge McDuck, places like EB Games are just going to keep eating into their profits. They have no one but themselves to blame for not properly adapting to the demands of their customers.

One would think the best way to combat this would be to not buy anymore EA products. Or Activision, or Capcom, Square-Enix, BioWare, etc. Any corporation that handles customer relations the way Jodie Foster was handled on that pinball machine in "The Accused".

But I think I have a better idea. It's just in the testing phase right now, but tell me if you think this makes sense:

For companies I like, I'll buy games new. 
For companies I don't like, I'll buy games used.




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Mass Effect 3: "Whores"

I think everyone can agree that the ending to Mass Effect 3 is just about the worst conceivable ending for anything. I don't think I'm being controversial in saying that. I think that's something we as a species has decided unanimously. Even the people who reviewed it on professional gaming rags seem to think so, but that didn't stop them from giving it Infinity out of Ten.

There's always been a long-standing suspicion that Publishers of games can buy good review scores. We've never had anything to prove it, and we might not have it now. But when I look at the disparity between the things the critics have to say, and things the fans have to say, it's getting harder and harder to hide.

Something is definitely wrong with games criticism, and for once it's not Yahtzee.

Via "Mass Effect 3 in a nutshell".

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7 Better Endings For "Mass Effect 3"

~~~~~
-Powerless, the survivors have no choice but to defeat the Reapers... THROUGH THE POWER OF DANCE!

*Cut To: All of the Reapers exploding
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Mass Effect 3: "Homosexuality"

The tragedy is that this person is stuck writing for Gamespot. That's not fair.

END OF LINE

~A.H.

The Old Republic: "The Phantom Menace"

"Because that’s the real tragedy of Star Wars: The Old Republic. Not that it’s a mediocre game – though that is a tragedy in itself – but that it could have been so very much more.


And it isn’t."

That's "Josh", one of the people finally allowed to air his grievances with the Old Republic beta after the NDA was lifted. I get a sinking feeling Bioware is not going to survive this...

His is a sentiment I share with a lot of games I've looked forward to, now that I think about it. The obvious failures don't leave an impression anymore. Your Big Rigs, your Duke Nukem Forevers. I find I can't be mad at the stinkers anymore.

It's the games that COULD HAVE been great that baffle me. The games that snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. I can understand a hellish development cycle or a ridiculous deadline or all number of very good excuses for why a game fails. But then there are times where a team has all of the time, money and talent in the world, when they have everything going for them and they still screw up.

Those are the experiences that haunt me. The games who have perfection in their grasp, and they refuse it. Some failures are a maddening, hollow question mark.

END OF LINE

~A.H.

Origin, Dragon Age

Okay. This one's going to require a bit of a history lesson. There are 3 major players in this story:

EA, Bioware and Valve.