INT. CLASSROOM -MORNING
Students in class listening to the morning announcements.
Most are bored or apathetic. Vicky is fidgeting in her seat
at her desk.
P.A.
The results of the bake sale
include three lawsuits against the
school: A new low record. And
today’s lunch will be: Plastic.
OZ
(disappointed)
Aww, we had plastic for lunch
yesterday!
Oz notices Vicky seemingly about to explode with
anticipation.
OZ
Hey Vicky, are you-?
VICKY
(excited)
It’s so hard for me to concentrate,
knowing prom is in just a few
hours! It’s finally happening! I
CAN’T WAIT!!
In her excitement, she then teleports soundlessly around
the scene. Under desks, out of a nearby window, on the ceiling,
behind Brian, exploding out of the back wall, until returning to
her seat.
VICKY
PROOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!
P.A.
And finally, Prom is being delayed
until the 8th of the month.
VICKY
…What?
Vicky makes a “capital D colon” face.
INTRO
The intro theme song for this season is "Beat The Love"
by Autoheart.
TITLE CARD
"Team Spirit"
Click below to read more:
vvv
==========
ACT 1
INT. CLASSROOM -MORNING
The students are reacting to news of prom being moved
back 24 hours.
VICKY
Are they really pushing prom back
until the 8th of the month?
AMIRA
It’s the 7th today, why push it
back only one day?
BRIAN
Maybe they thought it would be
better to have it on an
even-numbered day.
OZ
Maybe they thought 7 wasn’t enough
days before prom?
VICKY
We had that half-day at the start
of the month, maybe they thought it
didn’t count.
AMIRA
Half-day? More like… Half of
that, I ducked out before lunch.
VICKY
Aww, BUTT. What do we do to pass
the time?
OZ
We could do our schoolwork like
proper students.
AMIRA
This is neither the time nor the
place!
OZ
It’s BOTH of those things!
BRIAN
I propose we declare today National
Take A Nap Day.
VICKY
I’m too bummed to get good grades
right now. I’m just gonna think
back to simpler times. An ancient,
bygone era. Back… In the “Great
Before”!
CUT TO
INT. GYMNASIUM -DAY
The words “2 WEEKS AGO” appear on the screen. Cheerleader
tryouts. Vicky is trying out for cheerleader practice in
order to get close to Scott. She is wearing a standard,
non-sexualized cheerleader uniform. Oz and Brian are in the
stands as moral support.
COACH
Alright, you’ve passed the
certification for pom-pom
puffiness. But can you spell words
in a way that’s inspiring?
VICKY
I’ll do my B-E-S-T!
Coach stands, bewildered.
BEAT
COACH
…OH, “best”! Alright, the floor
is yours!
Coach walks back to a table set up with two other judges to
decide on cheerleader auditions.
VICKY
Who’s ready for some: activity!
involving! physical exertion! and
skill! in which an individual! or
team! competes! against another! or
others! for entertainment!!
ANGLE ON
Coach and the two other monster judges staring blankly.
They are also bewildered. So Vicky clarifies:
VICKY
…Sports!
ANGLE ON
The judges responding with sudden understanding/approval.
ANGLE ON
Vicky performing the actions to shape her body into various
“letters” of the word “Sports”.
VICKY
Yeah! S! P! O! R! T! S! SPORTS!!
When she yells “sports”, she jumps and kicks forward, but
her leg detaches mid-kick and flies toward one of the
judges. They are knocked backwards in their chair, the other
two judges looking at it happen with shock. Vicky balances
on one leg realizing she did an Oopsie.
VICKY
Aww darn-dang it… Wait, was that
it? Ding… Dang Dern it?
OZ
(from the bleachers)
It was “Ding-darn it!”, but good
hustle!
CUT TO
INT. CAFETERIA -NOON
Vicky being reassured by Oz and Brian.
BRIAN
That leg was a face-seeking
missile.
OZ
I’m sorry that didn’t work out,
Vicky.
VICKY
This is awful! How am I going to
get Scott’s attention now?
BRIAN
Does he... like being kicked in the
face?
OZ
Maybe we can ask his friends for
advice?
BRIAN
Who are his friends?
VICKY
I’ve seen him hanging out with
Miranda, we could start there.
OZ
I don’t know if Brian’s ready to
talk to Miranda again.
Miranda appears from offscreen.
MIRANDA
THERE you are! I’ve been looking
everywhere for you, Branklin!
OZ
Wait, that's not his name.
VICKY
That's not ANYBODY's name. Zero people
have ever been named "Branklin".
MIRANDA
I require accompaniment for a night
on the town!
VICKY
It’s noon.
OZ
Don’t you have school to do like
everyone else?
MIRANDA
Oh, how quaint! Doing schoolwork is
for the lower-class, silly! I
already ordered my serfs to do our
assignments in his and my place.
One of Miranda’s serfs sits down next to Oz on the far side
of the cafeteria table wearing an outfit like Brian’s. He
looks like a giant sideways fish, the face facing up, except
dressed sort of like Brian. Miranda grabs the real Brian’s
arm and tugs him away with unusual strength. Dragging him
along the floor.
MIRANDA
This will be fun!
BRIAN
(whispers)
Heeeeelp!
Brian’s worried expression fades in the distance as he gets
smaller and smaller, because he and Miranda get farther and
farther away. Oz and Vicky can only look on in worry.
VICKY
She seems… Nice?
SERF
Are you gonna eat that?
OZ
It’s plastic.
SERF
I’m not too proud.
CUT TO
INT. CLASSROOM -MORNING
Back to the present.
VICKY
Why do they keep feeding us that?
AMIRA
That’s Vera’s doing. She has a
company that undercut the previous
food supplier. Super cheap, but the
contract means any legal defense is
on the school for being stupid
enough to feed kids plastic.
BRIAN
How do you know all that?
AMIRA
I hang out with Vera after school.
OZ
I’d be more impressed if I wasn’t
so hungry.
VICKY
We still have vending machines at
least.
AMIRA
Yeah, guess who owns those.
BRIAN
What doesn’t Vera own? The moon?
AMIRA
Yo Brian, I wasn’t there to hear
what happened with you and Miranda.
BRIAN
Oh, that. We went to the seahorse
track.
CUT TO
EXT. SEAHORSE TRACK -NOON
Brian and Miranda are at the seahorse track.
MIRANDA
We are at the seahorse track!
BRIAN
Yes.
CUT TO
INT. CLASSROOM -MORNING
The other player characters waiting for Brian to elaborate.
BEAT
AMIRA
…I was kinda hoping for more
info, dude.
BRIAN
Alright, fine.
CUT TO
EXT. SEAHORSE TRACK -NOON
Brian and Miranda are at the local seahorse track. The
camera is off of Miranda, while she yammers on and on about
whatever.
MIRANDA(V.O.)
Here we are! The seahorse track is
the perfect place to wear my
exquisite and detailed hat that
everyone can see!
A gust of wind picks up behind Brian, ruffling his jacket.
The wind blows Miranda’s hat away so that the audience will
never get to see its’ majesty. So now we see her, but not
her hat.
MIRANDA
Oh no, my amazing hat! Oh well,
I’ll just buy twelve more later.
BRIAN
Is a seahorse track like a land
horse track?
MIRANDA
Yes, but with one important
distinction!
Miranda does not continue, despite holding her arm up and
raising her index finger, as though she would say what the
one distinction would be.
BEAT
MIRANDA
Let’s go!
CUT TO
Brian and Miranda are inside the front lobby of the seahorse
track, deciding on which seahorse to bet on.
MIRANDA
Now Barn, let us see if we can make
a profit from the next race!
BRIAN
How much should we bet?
MIRANDA
My father allowed us a paltry sum,
only $10,000,000 monster dollars.
But I’m confident we can still have
a good time even if we only triple
that amount! …Ben, are you
alright?
BRIAN
(imploding)
TE-te-te-te-TEN Muh-TEh-!
Brian is having trouble processing ten million of anything,
let alone a currency. Thoughts of all of the cupcakes he
could buy with that kind of money leave him a stuttering
fool.
MIRANDA
Now then, how shall we decide which
of these fine sea-stallions to bet
on?
ANGLE ON
Brian, having no clue how to decide such a thing, imagines
what he thinks his friends would suggest:
VICKY(IMAGINARY)
Lick them, and bet on whichever one
tastes the best!
AMIRA(IMAGINARY)
Forget the seahorses, just let
Miranda ride YOU!
OZ(IMAGINARY)
Did you know male seahorses carry
the babies until they’re born? I
don’t know if they’re literal MPreg
or if they just… hold onto the
eggs? Yeah, I don’t got any tips
for the Miranda situation, sorry.
Brian makes a decision.
BRIAN
Forget the seahorses. Let’s enter
the race ourselves!
MIRANDA
What??
BRIAN
I used to be a long-distance
runner. I can carry you past the
finish line!
MIRANDA
Oh my! What a bold choice! How
daring! How unique! Let us get to
the starting line right away!
AMIRA(IMAGINARY)
OH, you thought I meant for the
race. I was… You know what, never
mind, you made her happy, it’s all
good.
CUT TO
EXT. SEAHORSE TRACK STARTING GATE -NOON
The gates open, and Brian dashes out onto the track while
Miranda rides on his back.
CUT TO
INT. ANNOUNCER BOOTH -NOON
The announcer in his booth watching the seahorse race. He
commentates for those listening on radio.
ANNOUNCER
And they’re off! Taking the lead
almost immediately is some guy
carrying a woman on his back! I
can’t believe there wasn’t a rule
prohibiting that! He is making
incredible time on his opponents!
In their defense, seahorses
typically don’t move as well on
land! Kind of makes you think this
entire sport taking place outside
of the water was a bad idea! Can
you believe people bet money on
this? Did you know male seahorses
carry their young until they’re
born instead of females? And the
dude carrying a fish lady is the
winner!!
CUT TO
EXT. SEAHORSE TRACK -NOON
Brian has exhausted himself.
BRIAN
(out of breath)
And I’m outta gas.
Brian collapses past the race track while Miranda gently
steps off of him.
MIRANDA
We did it!
BRIAN
(face down in dirt)
Glrph.
Brian gives a thumbs-up.
MIRANDA
The odds of you winning were so low
that we made back many times our
initial investment! SEVERAL times
even!
BRIAN
(face down in dirt)
Guuuuhhhh…
MIRANDA
You’ve made today an exciting one,
Bane! As thanks, I present to you:
Four monster dollars!
Miranda delicately drops four dollar bills over Brian, and
they gently float down onto him. He tries to bring his head
up to look at her, but he is too drained.
MIRANDA
And people say the wealthy are
stingy with money! Well then, I
should get back to school. Fare the
well!
Miranda skips away without helping. Brian lays down in the
dirt because he physically cannot stand.
FADE TO
EXT. SEAHORSE TRACK -NIGHT
Brian is still face-down in the dirt hours later.
BRIAN
(groans)
ACT 1 END
===========
ACT 2
EXT. CAFETERIA -NOON
The player characters are eating at lunch. Luckily not plastic.
OZ
That was an amusing and interesting
story about you and Miranda
bonding, Brian!
AMIRA
Yeah, kinda wish you’d told us that
earlier.
BRIAN
I was too tired before.
VICKY
Feels like such a long time ago.
That’s when I was still trying to
do something to get Scott’s
attention.
AMIRA
Is that what led to…?
VICKY
(nods)
Mmm-hmm!
CUT TO
EXT. SPOOKY HIGH -AFTERNOON
Oz is about to walk home from school, when Vicky appears and
shoves a piece of paper in his face.
VICKY
OZ, LOOK!
Oz takes the paper and reads it.
OZ
"Help Design A New School Mascot".
VICKY
This is it! If I make a school
mascot for our football team, it’ll
help put me on Scott’s radar even
more than the other twelve things I
did to do that but they didn’t!
OZ
...I got lost in that sentence
somewhere.
VICKY
The football team needs a new
mascot! If I submit the winning
entry, it’ll be the perfect thing
to get me closer to Scott! Any time
he’s playing a football game and
the mascot comes out, it’ll remind
him of me! …Is that obsessive?
OZ
Uhh-
VICKY
Come on, help me come up with a
mascot idea!
Vicky grabs Oz’s arm and takes him away.
CUT TO
EXT. VALERIE’S SHOP -AFTERNOON
Valerie is about to close up her shop when Vicky and Oz
appear.
VICKY
Hey! Are you still open?
VALERIE
No.
VICKY
I’ll pay double!
VALERIE
Yes.
Valerie places the box of stuff on the counter of her
shitty-looking lemonade stand-ass wooden counter. Oz peers
into it, and then Vicky starts rummaging through it with the
fervor of a rabid raccoon.
VICKY
Let’s see, what’ll make for a good
mascot?
OZ
Aren’t most team mascots animals?
Or something racist?
VICKY
We just gotta think creative!
VALERIE
Just don’t make it a racist animal.
OZ
Vicky, you and Scott already got
off to a decent start. I don’t
think the zany schemes are
necessary anymore.
VICKY
I gotta let him know I support his
interests!
OZ
…Why not just tell him that?
VICKY
What if words are boring to Scott?
Maybe he needs an elaborate
gesture! I have to find a way to
stand out! Hello, what’s that?
POV
The box of stuff, looking up at Oz and Vicky. Oz looks in
the box at what Vicky referred to, then he looks to Vicky,
who grins back.
CUT TO
INT. SPOOKY HIGH AUDITORIUM -NOON
The next day, at a special assembly, the school accepts
auditions for a new Team Mascot. Liam, Miranda and Scott are
presiding over a judge’s table. They are judging someone.
LIAM
Damien, you stabbing the other
team’s players does not count as a
"mascot"!
ANGLE ON
Damien on stage.
DAMIEN
What if I was dressed as a big
knife while I do it?
MIRANDA(V.O.)
NO!
DAMIEN
Man, screw you guys! Some day,
someone’s gonna make Me Stabbing
Dudes a mascot so popular, it’ll
make Bugs Bunny look like a little
BITCH!
Damien stomps off of the stage.
ANGLE ON
The three judges.
SCOTT
Aww, none of these mascot
suggestions seem right for our
school.
MIRANDA
Why are we wasting our time with
this?
LIAM
We get to be judgmental of our
peers.
MIRANDA
I tire of this! Are you certain we
can’t just go with the “Spooky High
Racist Animals”?
LIAM
Florida has the trademark for that.
SCOTT
How do we find a mascot that
represents all of us?
MIRANDA
I could use my Daddy’s gene lab to
genetically-engineer a mascot using
everyone’s DNA!
SCOTT
That’d take forever! There’s gotta
be at least…
Scott counts on his fingers, then raises three of them.
SCOTT
…FIVE students here!
Scott slumps over with his chin resting on his hand.
SCOTT
(morose)
If only there were a mascot idea
that would also be a good date for
the prom!
ANGLE ON
Vicky wearing a white sheet with two eye holes cut out
stepping onto the stage.
VICKY
(like a ghost)
Ooooh!
ANGLE ON
Liam looking very unimpressed, but Miranda and Scott are
shocked. Miranda is holding onto Scott’s arm with both of
her hands.
MIRANDA
Liam, Scott? Are you two seeing
what I’m seeing?
LIAM
I know, right? Who in their right
mind would ever be fooled into
thinking that was-
Scott stands up and points. (Some of this dialogue is lifted
verbatim from the Monster Prom video game).
SCOTT
A GHOST!!!
LIAM
Are you serious? It’s clearly a-
MIRANDA
I’ve never seen a ghost before!
LIAM
Yes you have! Polly! This is
clearly Vicky wearing a sheet with
two eye-holes cut out!
MIRANDA
Don’t be jealous, Liam!
LIAM
I’m not jealous! I am merely the
merchant of truth.
MIRANDA
No, you are the merchant of poop!
SCOTT
Yeah, you don’t see us accusing YOU
of being Vicky wearing a sheet with
two eye-holes cut out!
MIRANDA
And we have had that suspicion
before.
SCOTT
Hey, ghost! Prove Liam wrong!
MIRANDA
Yes, show us some ghost powers!
ANGLE ON
Vicky staring blankly for a moment, then pulling out her
phone and waving it around slowly.
ANGLE ON
Liam, Scott and Miranda.
SCOTT
Look… The phone!
MIRANDA
It’s... LEVITATING!
LIAM
Oh come on! Anyone can do that!
Scott and Miranda take out their phones and start moving
them around slowly like Vicky was.
MIRANDA
(gasps)
He’s right!
SCOTT
…Am I a ghost??
LIAM
I’m out.
Liam explodes into a cloud of bats and disperses…
...Then re-forms two feet away from Scott and Miranda,
walking away. Totally wasting his bat teleportation power
thing. Vicky stands and watches on stage as Miranda and
Scott continue to “levitate” their phones, enraptured.
CUT TO
INT. HALLWAY -AFTERNOON
Vicky is at her locker, putting the sheet away. Oz is there.
OZ
So did it work?
VICKY
I don't know. They were still waving
their phones at themselves ten
minutes later, so I left.
OZ
Sounds like it had some sort of
effect on Scott.
VICKY
Is it enough though?
OZ
Oh, you can ask him yourself.
Oz sees Scott and Miranda approaching. Vicky panics and
shoves the sheet into her locker, then quickly closes it.
SCOTT
Hey, have you guys seen the Team
Spirit anywhere??
OZ
I don’t know. What does it smell
like? HA-HAH! Heh…
Oz coughs.
VICKY
…What’s a Team Spirit?
MIRANDA
It’s this amazing new student at
school! It’s a GHOST!
SCOTT
They taught us how to levitate
phones with ghost powers!
VICKY
…Oh yeah?
SCOTT
Yeah! I gotta go be friends with
someone like that!
MIRANDA
I know I would hang out with and
listen to whatever they’d say! Even
take dating advice from them!
SCOTT
The only other ghost I know is
Polly, and she’s smart, so this one
must be too!
VICKY
Is that so? Well-
A portal opens up behind Vicky. Out of it steps a flashy man
with blue skin, luxurious hair and pointy ears. His suit is
dapper yet whimsical.
???
Greetings, my loves!
VICKY
What the-?
OZ
Who are you?
???
I am the Interdimensional Prince. I
travel the cosmos and all planes of
reality in search of one to share
my life and my kingdom with. And
today, my sights rest on you.
VICKY
Oh, uhh… Hey, I’m flattered but-
PRINCE
Not you, her!
The Interdimensional Prince points to Miranda, who is
happily intrigued.
MIRANDA
(gasps)
…A prince, you say?
PRINCE
Yes, and I am here to whisk you
away to a life of wonder and bliss,
as my betrothed!
MIRANDA
(gasps louder)
It’s like a fairy-tale!
Miranda is beaming at the thought of this.
SCOTT
Wow, you sure are lucky, Miranda! I
wish a dimension-travelling disco
alien would ask for MY hand in
marriage.
PRINCE
Oh? I haven’t met you before. You
could also be my bride.
MIRANDA
That’s so roma-wait, what?
PRINCE
I assure you, there is room in my
Marriage Dungeon for both of you!
MIRANDA
…Eugh! Disgusting!
OZ
Vicky, should we do something?
Oz notices that Vicky has already donned her ghost outfit
while the others were distracted by the Interdimensional
Prince being a creepo-depot. His eyes are closed and he is
twirling a star wand as he says more things.
PRINCE
We can sort this out in time, as
soon as I order my finest soldiers
to bring the Royal Chloroform and-
The Interdimensional Prince opens his eyes and notices the
ghost outfit.
PRINCE
…What is this? An undead
specter??
SCOTT
Ghost buddy!!
MIRANDA
Spirit! Use your ghost magic to rid
my presence of this vile creep!
Vicky stands there for a second, thinking of her next move.
She then looks down, picks up a small rock and throws it at
the Prince.
PRINCE
Ow!! I didn’t know this dimension
was haunted! I retreat for now, but
you haven’t seen the last of me!
The Interdimensional Prince steps back into his portal,
which then closes.
MIRANDA AND SCOTT
(cheering)
Yay! Ghost Friend! Ghost Friend!
PAN RIGHT
Liam looks on, disgusted at how stupid his classmates are.
CUT TO
INT. CAFETERIA -NOON
Back to present day with the player characters.
AMIRA
These stories really flesh out you
guys’ attempts to woo Miranda and
Scott. It’s a bit weird hearing
about it now that you’re not going
for them anymore.
OZ
Well they got dates with them,
just… Not in the order they were
trying.
AMIRA
Huh?
OZ
I mean Brian wanted Miranda and
Vicky wanted Scott, but Scott asked
Brian and Miranda asked Vicky.
AMIRA
Oh.
BRIAN
See, simple and easy-to-follow.
AMIRA
Hearing about this might have made
more sense back then though.
VICKY
Yeah, if our lives were a story
being told, telling it out of
chronological order would be
short-sighted and kind of lame.
OZ
Agreed. It’s what a hack-writer
would do, someone who didn’t plan
things out ahead of time.
BRIAN
Not saying that EVERYONE who would
write about us would be bad.
OZ
Right, just the specific person
writing this specific set of
events, in this way. Right now.
VICKY
I think we can all agree that they
would definitely have a small
penis.
EVERYONE
(agrees)
ME, THE PERSON WRITING THIS
D’:
ACT 2 END
==========
ACT 3
INT. CLASSROOM -AFTERNOON
The Colour Crew are in class near the end of the school day.
AMIRA
I wanna hear more about that stuff
I missed when I was off being a
jerk.
VICKY
We’ll have to wait until class
ends.
ANGLE ON
The teacher at the front of the class.
MS. WERE-PANTHER
Good afternoon, class. Today your
work will involve telling each
other about something that happened
to you, some time in the recent
past. You will be graded on how
zany the hijinx were.
ANGLE ON
The Colour Crew.
VICKY
Oh… Alright, back to me wearing
the ghost outfit:
CUT TO
EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD -NIGHT
A football game is occurring. The new spooky high mascot is
about to be unveiled. Polly and Amira are in the stands.
POLLY
Woo! Badminton!
She blows an airhorn before Amira raises the sunglasses off
of Polly’s head.
POLLY
Oh, I was WAY off.
ANGLE ON
The football field, where a banner is being held up on the
field for the ghost to phase through.
ANNOUNCER(V.O.)
Before we begin tonight’s game, we
have a special announcement:
Introducing the new mascot for the
Spooky High “Spooky Sports Players
Who Spook(and also play Sports)”.
It’s… The TEEEEEAM
SPIRIIIIIIIT!
Vicky, in the ghost outfit tears through the banner almost
all of the way. She trips in it, momentarily getting stuck.
Much of Vicky is visible while she tries to free her leg.
When she finally frees herself, she looks to the crowd,
and to Scott and then does a funny little dance.
ANGLE ON
Polly and Amira in the stands.
POLLY
Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, do
you see what I see??
AMIRA
Yeah, that is-
POLLY
Another ghost!! WE CAN DO GHOST
STUFF WHICH IS BASICALLY JUST BUTT
STUFF!!
ANGLE ON
Vicky looking out at bleachers full of people cheering
wildly. Until Liam runs in from offscreen and removes the
sheet, revealing Vicky to the world.
An audible gasp is heard from the crowd.
ANGLE ON
Polly and Amira.
POLLY
Hey, wait, that’s not a ghost!
AMIRA
Oh no… It’s Vi-
POLLY
It’s a pile of turtles!! Maybe, I’m
on a LOT of “rocket fuel” right
now.
AMIRA
…Is that slang for PCP, or are we
talkin’ the shit Nasa uses?
POLLY
Hah, yeah, that does seem like a
Polly thing to do.
She gives another quick blow of her airhorn.
ANGLE ON
Scott heading out onto the field.
SCOTT
Vicky!
VICKY
Oh no… Scott, listen, I-
SCOTT
You were possessed by the Team
Spirit??
VICKY
…You know what, sure, let’s go
with that.
SCOTT
Awesome! High-five!
LIAM
WHAT?!
Vicky hops slightly to reach Scott’s higher-than-usual five.
VICKY
I guess the team needs a new mascot
again.
SCOTT
Hey, check out Liam, he’s really
gettin’ into the spirit!
Liam is ripping up the sheet and grumbling like a purple
angry goblin boy. This catches the attention of the crowd.
ANGLE ON
The crowd.
SPORTS FAN 1
Look at him go!
SPORTS FAN 2
That purple angry goblin boy should
be our mascot!
POLLY
Yeah! Go “Lame”! LAME! LAME!
Polly starts a chant from the crowd calling Liam “Lame”.
Liam is horrified at the attention and the support. The
camera revolves around him.
LIAM
No. No!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
ANGLE ON
Coach, joining Scott.
COACH
It’s settled then! Tonight’s game
will be the Spooky High “Lames”
versus the Creepy High “Damien
Stabbing Dudes”.
Damien stabs Liam in his side while dressed as a big knife.
LIAM
GAH!!
Liam falls down, offscreen.
DAMIEN
Yeah! You could have had me at the
ground floor, but NOOOO!
CUT TO
INT. GYMNASIUM -DAY
The next day, a person is wearing a mascot suit and big
doofy helmet that looks sort of like Liam. “Lame”’s likeness
is printed on merchandise and memorabilia. Valerie has moved
her shop indoors temporarily to sell this crap to a line of
people eager to show their school spirit with their wallets.
LIAM
You can’t do this! I’ll sue for
copyright infringement.
VALERIE
You can’t copyright yourself.
LIAM
Then what did I pay Vera for?? Oh.
She was fucking with me.
VALERIE
"Buyer Beware". Now are you gonna
support the school* or not?
(Asterisk: Me).
LIAM
I am NOT rewarding this character
assassination!
VALERIE
Alright, then be the only one in
school not joining in on what’s
cool right now.
LIAM
…Son of a-!
Liam pulls out his wallet.
ANGLE ON
The Color Crew, Polly, Miranda and Scott watching this.
Scott is wearing as much bootleg merchandise about the new
team mascot as he could afford. Several hats, one of which
is located on his head.
AMIRA
Polly, did you really think Vicky
was another ghost?
POLLY
Nah, I just wanted to mess with
Liam. I’m more observant and
on-the-ball than people give me
credit for.
VICKY
That’s good to hear.
POLLY
Hey, where’d the turtles go?
AMIRA
I guess thing’s worked out alright.
SCOTT
Yeah! We’ve got a new team mascot!
And it’s not racist!
OZ
…I guess it’s racist to… Liams?
MIRANDA
Oh, nonsense! My Daddy said that
commoners don’t have feelings!
AMIRA
Like he’d be mad that he’s the
centre of attention.
POLLY
Liam says he’s not big on anything
"mainstream", but I bet there’s
some part of him that’s loving
this.
ANGLE ON
Damien stabbing Liam again while he’s trying to buy a thing.
LIAM
GAH-!!
The same animation as the previous stabbing.
CUT TO
INT. CLASSROOM -AFTERNOON
Back to the present day. Vicky telling the story to her
class like a child clumsily reciting a school report, except
she’s an adult so why is she still doing it like that
VICKY
(flatly)
And that was my day a while back
where I dressed up as a ghost. The
resulting shenanigans were zany and
befitting a situational comedy.
Thank you.
Very light clapping from several students. Vicky heads back
to her seat.
MS. WERE-PANTHER
Thank you, Ms. Schmidt. Next up:
Ms. Rashid.
Amira walks up to the front of the class.
AMIRA
Uhh… Same story, except with more
crocodiles. Peace out.
Amira walks back to her desk to considerably more clapping
from the class. Vicky lightly taps her desk with her fist.
VICKY
Darn it, I KNEW I should have added
crocodiles in there!
CUT TO
EXT. SPOOKY HIGH ENTRANCE -EVENING
The Color Crew are walking home from school, reminiscing on
their past exploits and looking to the future.
VICKY
That story sure put into
perspective what an adventure this
month’s been!
AMIRA
You and Brian cool with how things
turned out? Going to prom with each
other’s first picks?
BRIAN
…You know what? I am. Scott’s
cool, he’s simple and he’s easy to
get along with. Plus I don’t have
to memorize ancient merhistory.
VICKY
I… I really had my sights set on
Scott, but…
OZ
I think you and Miranda make sense.
VICKY
Really?
OZ
Well, you both like big, romantic,
theatrical gestures. And you’re
both into learning miscellaneous
facts about stuff.
BRIAN
She’d probably handle the forks and
spoons trivia better than I did.
VICKY
I AM a slut for trivia!
AMIRA
Might not have been your first
choices, but it all worked out for
ya!
VICKY
Did you ask Damien out to prom yet?
AMIRA
I’m tryin’ to, but he’s not
answering his phone. I still gotta
settle things with our fight
earlier.
OZ
You sure a phone call’s gonna do
it?
VICKY
If it’s personal and important, it
really should be in-person.
AMIRA
UGH, I know. Guess I just gotta
bite the bullet.
VICKY
I’m sure you two can set things
right before tomorrow night.
BRIAN
…You know, that story you told
earlier reminded me: I forgot our
school mascot’s now a cheap
knockoff of Liam.
OZ
Do you think he’s still upset about
it?
VICKY
Ah, how long can a guy hold a
grudge?
CUT TO
INT. VERA’S BEDROOM -NIGHT
“7 Hours Later” appears on a black screen. Then we see the
inside of Vera’s bedroom. While Vera is trying to sleep in
her bed(with one of those eye-covering things people
sometimes wear), she hears a faint scratching at her window.
She tries to ignore it, but eventually, grumpily wakes up to
see what the noise is. She opens the curtains over her
bedroom window revealing…
LIAM! Like that one movie with the vampire boy at the window.
This and the scary music sting do not startle Vera.
VERA
Liam, it’s MIDNIGHT, leave me
alone!
LIAM
So sorry to wake you, Vera, but I
have obtained knowledge about Oz
that might interest you.
VERA
It can wait ‘til morning, now go
away!
LIAM
He’s a member of the Monstropolis
Communist party.
Vera stops in her tracks back to her bed. She turns around.
MONTAGE
Liam on the left side of the screen, back to the “camera”,
while the person reacting to news he has brought is on the
right side of the frame.
A- Vera in her bedroom reacting.
VERA
Oz is a COMMUNIST?!
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM -NIGHT
B- Damien in his hospital bed, in a cast and covered in
bandages.
DAMIEN
Amira’s a Republican?!
INT. MIRANDA’S BEDROOM -NIGHT
C- Miranda in her bedroom that looks like a vhs copy of “The
Little Mermaid” vomited everywhere.
MIRANDA
Vicky has a chest tattoo that says
"Down With The Monarchy!“?!
INT. SCOTT’S GRANDMA’S HOUSE -NIGHT
D- Scott in his boxers in his kitchen holding onto a pickle
SCOTT
Brian’s not big into sports?!
Liam nods.
SCOTT
…Well, that’s okay I guess. We
don’t need to have all the same
hobbies to have fun at prom!
LIAM
Wait! He uh… He also… He likes
mailmen!
SCOTT
What?! But I HATE those! …But if
Brian likes them, maybe I should
give them a chance too. He wouldn’t
steer me wrong.
LIAM
He wants your pickle there.
SCOTT
What?! No! This is MY pickle! MINE!
ARF-ARF-ARF-ARF-ARF!!!
Scott holds the pickle close to his chest and angrily barks,
so loudly that it wakes up his grandma.
SCOTT’S GRANDMA(V.O.)
Scottie, sweetie, keep it down!
SCOTT
Oh, sorry Gam-Gam!
CUT TO
EXT. SPOOKY HIGH ENTRANCE -EVENING
"7 Hours Earlier” appears on a black screen and then cuts
back to the Colour Crew. Vicky shivers.
VICKY
Ooh, it’s gettin’ chilly.
BRIAN
Days are getting shorter too. Sun’s
already almost down.
OZ
Which is weird, because it's May.
VICKY
Take a good look, guys! That’s the
last sunset before the Best Night
of our Lives™!
Vicky smiles, hope in her eyes, unaware of the coming storm.
CUT TO BLACK
ACT 3 END
==========
CREDITS
The song "Fifteen Minutes" by Mike Krol plays over the credits.
("Monster Prom" belongs to Beautiful Glitch)
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