Tuesday, 18 February 2020

Mortal Kombat 11

I bought Mortal Kombat 11, and it is everything that little kid me from the 90's could have ever wanted from one of these games. I wish I could go back in time and show him this, and then feel bad because I really shouldn't be going around to children showing them gorey video games.

It has this thing called "AI Battles" where you assign certain moves and playstyles to characters and have them fight battles for you. I have no idea why it's in this game, or who it's for, but I'm not complaining. It has made getting a lot of the different fashion items for the characters easier.

I guess the AI stuff is for someone like me, who is never going to "git gud" enough to play these games on a professional tournament level.

There was a time when Mortal Kombat was on top of the world and also terrifying to white suburban moms. Looking at some of the new fatalities is actually kind of upsetting at times compared to what was considered shocking in the 90's. It's especially bad when you realize you can play as Johnny Cage and also his daughter Cassie, and then have him use her torso as a ventriloquist dummy.

Even the story mode is fun. It's like a mediocre-to-decent action movie, kind of like that first MK movie that people seem to revere. To the point where they got the likeness of the actor who played Shang Tsung for his appearance here.

I wish you could play as Cyrax and Sheeva, and I hope they're DLC at some point. And seeing Scorpion and Sub-Zero finally settle their differences and work together as allies in the story mode made the child in me happy. More than I thought it would.

me like, game good



Saturday, 20 July 2019


jesus, it's almost been a year since the last post in here

most of that was playing breath of the wild. If I'd played that in 2017 when it was released, it would have been in the previous end-of-year list. That game is a fucking masterpiece. Reading back some of my old zelda posts here, there was a long time where I truly thought the franchise was a corpse.

In fact, I cringe at most of the stuff I've written here. That's also why I haven't written much lately. I don't like 90% of it, and the other 10% I end up hating eventually.

So why am I typing this with the intention of posting now?

Because I was finally able to think of a 10th thing I liked last year. So Fave of 2018 should come whenever I feel like it.



Saturday, 1 September 2018

The Lelda Of Zegend: Breath Of The Weath

I finally got a Nintendo Switch. It is adorbable and teeny-tiny and I can't handle that.

I have now played Breath of the Wild, seven million years after everyone else already moved on from it. I'm only about an hour through the game, but I'm going to see how long I can get through it without putting any pants on Link.

I was hoping to have paid for it from art commissions, but that requires a paypal account and a paying audience and not being in a ruined state in terms of artistic growth. So my dad bought it for me.

The shame at being such a pathetic baby that needs his parents to buy him his toys is palpable. But I seriously don't have anything else going on in my life, I've lost a lot of heroes in the last couple of months and I doubt I'm going to have a chance to be an adult anytime soon. If I'm going to waste the days until I'm dead, I might as well do some wacky shit in Hyrule.



Tuesday, 14 August 2018

The Last Jedi

The closest thing I ever had to a religion was Star Wars. I'm not proud of that. Maybe I needed something to devote myself to but religions didn't interest me. In any case, it wasn't healthy. I still remember treating a gold-coloured boxed set of the classic trilogy on VHS like they were the dead sea scrolls. When my sister and I got into a fight and the case for it was slightly warped, I freaked out. Screaming, crying, like someone shot my dog.

Sorry about that, Laura.

I'm not saying it's wrong to love these movies, or like them. I'm saying I took it too far. It became a gross obsession. Which is why you're about to read perhaps the most controversial thing I've ever said:

I'm glad that the prequels are so terrible.


Monday, 13 August 2018

Fave Things Of 2017

I put off this list because I lost my ability to explain why I like things, and also because I was hoping I'd be able to afford a Switch by this point. So, no mario odyssey or breath of the wild on this list I'm afraid.

let's get this shit over with:

10. My Hero Academia

There is an infectious power and heart to this show. It's obvious that the people working on it care a lot. I wish I felt that way about my own stories. If I had that kind of motivation, I might have even finished one by now.



Dark Souls Remastered: Plat

I got every trophy in Dark Souls Remastered in about ten days. It felt like months. Apparently the Remaster introduced MORE bugs. Which is kind of like if Sonic '06 finally got patched, and all the patch did was add Big the Cat fishing levels.

With this, I now have the platinum trophy in all 4 Soulsborne games. To commemorate this, here is a doodle of my player character:



Friday, 3 August 2018

I am a responsible adult who makes wise business decisions

Yakuza 0 and Horizon Zero Dawn were on sale at wal-mart today. They also had Monster Hunter World, Shadow of the Colossus and Pokemon Ultra Moon. Stuff I've been meaning to try out and catch up on.

Instead I bought Dark Souls Remastered.

This isn't really a "1st-world problem" so much as a "why am I allowed to be in charge of money at any time?" thing.