Smash Bros. For 3DS

Smash Bros. for the 3DS has the worst control scheme I’ve ever experienced in a video game. I say this because within the first 2 minute match, my hands were hurting from the clumsy button placement. Nothing else has ever accomplished this.


It's so awful, I almost wonder if this was done on purpose so more people would buy the Wii U version, thus boosting sales for the struggling console. I can't believe a video game in this century plays this terribly. And worse, from a franchise that was heralded for its' near-perfect precision gameplay.




 For some perspective, after playing Destiny for about 3 days straight, sometimes my hands are a little sore. Stretch the hands and take a break.  The last three years, I've participated in National Novel Writing Month. An entire month of writing up to 50,000 words of a story. No problem. And this is the game that almost gave me carpal tunnel syndrome. This is as bad as it gets without the console jabbing you in the eye while you’re playing.


All of this could have been fixed if the attack buttons had been mapped to X and Y. Instead, for some baffling reason, they’re mapped to A and B. You might recognize those as the jump buttons in every other video game ever made. We are talking about decades of muscle memory that this game is trying to swim against. Imagine if you had to use an Xbox controller for the original Super Mario Bros. But this time, to go right you have to press the Back button, and to jump you have to press the right and left thumbsticks in. 


These are the default controls. How does NINTENDO fuck this up?


The people who literally pioneered games about JUMPING!! 


END OF LINE

~A.H.